You come home
You look kind of frantic
Too bad 'cause I feel romantic
I know you're stressed out again
Tonight, I guess, that we're just friends again
You know I'm really not the type to compete
I hope your meatings were filled with lots of good meat
And your appointments have lots of good ointments
To soothe what you never could satisfy

'Cause I don't care like I did a minute ago
I tried to love you but it was just too stressful though
It's like leaving your boots on when you go swimming
And I never will fight for what doesn't want winning

You wake up
I'm doing cartwheels
You're grumpy
Say, 'Try and see how I feel'
I have, it just wasn't no fun
It's hard enough just waking up next to one
If you were oatmeal
You'd just look for lumps
If you were sweet
I'd call you sugarplumps
If you were clouds
You'd just say it with rain
Well, I am tired of this capricious game

'Cause I don't care like I did a minute ago
I tried to love you but it was just too stressful though
It's like leaving your boots on when you go swimming
And I never will fight for what doesn't want winning

Oh, marital carnival
Oh, marital carnival
Oh, marital carnival
Stop!
I want to get off

You know I'm going to find myself a ride
One that doesn't bring me down this time
One that isn't always on the run
One that can have good ol' fashioned fun
'Cause you know my purpose in life is nothing more
Than to simply be adored
I'm just like a little special treat
I ain't no piece of leftover hot dogs

'Cause I don't care like I did a minute ago
I tried to love you but it was just too stressful though
It's like leaving your boots on when you go swimming
And I never will fight for what doesn't want winning

I never will fight for
No, I never will fight for
Ruff!
I never will fight for
What doesn't want winning