GREEN CORN
sometimes i think of all the places i don't wanna go then i think of all the things that i never wanna do and when i think of all the people that i never wanna meet i close my eyes and go to sleep tully, baby, you're trapped behind your golden bars i'm the prince of poverty i hand around in bars your life's a mercedes, a mansion with a pool my life's on a bus stop just waiting for some fuel your obviousness disgusts me i see through your macho lies i'll fight everything you stand for there's something in your purse baby, my head is getting sore maybe what we had was just green corn
THE MORON BROTHERS
talking about the moron bros', tattooed fingers, tattooed toes they're idiots, losers, they're scum taking advantage of everyone you're a dog, they're your fleas doing everything they can to spread disease they'll take your beer, they'll take your drugs leave with you microscopic bugs their company is something you won't miss when your ice trays are filled with piss they are the moron brothers don't get along with others they'll whine, they'll bitch, they'll fuck you if you're rich they'll leach, they'll latch, they are the itch you can't scratch do do do do do do do do da do do do do etc. they'll ink your face, tape your eyelids closed tabasco's in your mouth, there's mustard up your nose when your head is shaved you'll think the worst has passed just try to move your leg they've put you in a cast they are the moron brothers don't get along with others they may not go down in history but they'll go down on your sister
SHOWER DAYS
in the morning i awake i feel my bladder about to break i scratch my balls i rub my eyes just feeling lousy my girlfriend tells me that it's time to take a bath i say, "no, not today, it's only tuesday" once every 24 hours i'm supposed to take a shower that's not the way i do it do it do it personal hygiene is the last thing on my mind i don't want to do it do it do it it doesn't make a difference to me everyday i do the same old thing so why should i have to be clean? those dreaded wednesdays and saturdays also known as shower days i hate them
FOOD, SEX, AND EWE
i'd rather have a bottle in front of me i'd rather watch 10 hours of t.v. but since i can't i'll think of food i'll think of sex i'll think of music and i'll think of you i'd rather have a cold one by the sea i'd rather have you sitting on top o'me but since i'm here and you're so far away i'll read about zaphod beeblebrox as i pass the day, hey i'd rather not spend my whole night driving i'd rather not be on so much caffeine but since you're in bed and i'm sleeping on some floor i'll think of you and i'll wish that i was home
JUST THE FLU
looking back to the past, predictions of the end unseen ultra violet rays are beating on my head nuclear threat wanna bet will be our demise the day will come when we'll look to apocalyptic skies when the news had spread, that soon we'd all be dead well it just blew our minds no one could have guessed that our worst fears at best figments of our time so it seems that our dreams will never come to be how could such a stupid thing destroy humanity? a few weeks till extinction and there's nothing we can do a message sent to other worlds will say, "it was just the flu" there's no lesson to be learned there's no one left to learn it
EL LAY
get out of my way, can't you see i'm from l.a.? yeah, i met slash, i've got a rose tattoo i bet i know way more people than you i just love this town, my girlfriend 84 pounds met her at the cathouse where i get in for free she pays the rent while i watch t.v. when we go out tonight, gotta get my hair just right tight black pants and blue suede shoes i'll get my picture in rock city news gotta get those flyers out, might meet a talent scout and he will talk contracts with me my fame and fortune and mtv
NEW BOOBS
something is lacking, i'm not attracting my boobs are not as big as i want them to be i want 36d i'm not receiving enough affection gonna get me a silicon injection and fulfill my dreams, bust through my seams my social life is pathetic, i can't find a man when i need is cosmetic surgery be the best i can be proteins, and milkshakes, mass vitamin consumption who needs to diet when liposuction is painless and quick, local anesthetic now my body is a model, a flawless perfection i most certainly will cause an erection wherever i go, but i still don't know the reason why i can't find a mate guys i meet ejaculate then leave through the door, i can't take anymore
CHEESE
it's been a long time now it's time to get your bubble burst things are bad enough in this world why do you have to make them worse? day after day, you just gotta get it
WHERE'S MY SLICE?
so sick and tired of your bitching and complaining so long you've been oppressed while others lives are gaining want reparations, you're needy and deserving can't understand why some are served while you're doing the serving anything but responsibility where's my slice? i want more than equal rights i want everything for free! you waste your time concerned with what others are earning you want a revolution to start the tables turning a demonstration to make a better nation we'll spend the day protesting all the problems that we're facing anything but face reality where's my slice... your brilliant theory how the world owes you a living you'll take away from others the things they should be giving they own the pie and you want your share whoever told you life was fair? you were dealt your hand - now play it where's my slice...
TOGETHER ON THE SAND
together on the sand, we walked hand in hand on the beach front, she smiled at me as she tightly held my hand i had my finger up her... country music played on the radio so i turned it off and we walked down to the water, as she grabbed on to my honker a wave swept us away
NOWHERE
you can't believe the things you see and read the soviet threat our pseudo enemy what's scaring me? our foreign policy to make the world safe for business call it democracy our human nature, it's all the same we spend our lives in the pursuit of happiness so stop the hate, open the iron gate it's our destiny to make the cold war history you think i give a shit if you're a socialist if you're a capitalist we've all got to exist on this planet with nowhere to run the millions of brainwashed must open their eyes we are one with us over here and them over there barbed wire borders are going nowhere
BRAIN CONSTIPATION
somebody hear me, somebody listen to me am i alone in this world is there anyone listening? appease me, can't find a reason to be alienation, is taking over me i'm going away, can't go on any longer i really don't know why i just gotta die i never thought this was how it would end the body swinging, i see it over and over again vanian singing, can i ever listen to it again? a cry for attention was a cry never heard with no one listening, there was nothing to be heard nothing to be heard
GONOHERPASYPHLAIDS
sitting in a room waiting for some news sitting in a room with white knuckles not feeling so good i didn't do the things i should i said, "doc, tell me what's wrong with me" he had this expression he didn't know what to say "it seems that you've contracted a new strain." how could this happen to me? another victim another casualty from fucking casually, another casualty all the times i should have worn a jimmy hat all the times i said, "what the fuck, i won't look back, that's not for me." i wouldn't listen to reason now look at me
I DON'T WANT YOU AROUND
j-j-j-jenny, so many times i tried to get away but you kept following me all over town i'll display it, there's no way to say it i don't just want you, i just don't want you around i don't want you around, you follow me around it's really bringing me down. i don't want you around when it was time to go i had nothing to say don't you look at me, don't you look at me that way "i love you!" oh, really? please go away what gave you the idea? get it out of your head you follow us around, we're not the grateful dead i wanted to be friends but you wanted more so, like i told you before, i don't want you around
THE MALACHI CRUNCH
did you get that rush, that feeling, adrenaline pumping through your veins? a lifeless body in the gutter, city streets are stained how do you rationalize, what do you see in your reflection? a kid just having fun, a soldiers bloodied boot impression one for all and all for one, especially when it's ten on one you don't care what you're doing, you know it sure is fun if it happened to your mother would you laugh so hard? well, that was someone's son or brother that you kicked so hard this time you went too far what's the matter, don't you feel alright? do you feel remorse? or are the handcuffs on a little too tight? now that your friends are gone, you've got no defense, no protection 5 or 6 times a day you receive your hot beef injection i hope every time you're cornholed terror fills your mind the one emotion you have inspired one too many times.