photo: P. da Silva
- A dressage test is a test of your skill against another competitor's luck.
- Dressage is about achieving an harmonious working relationship with your
horse, whose only idea of harmony is eating grass in a field.
- If you want to end a drought or dry spell, wear a new jacket and Patey
hat to an outdoor arena.
- Untalented, difficult, aggressive horses have robust health and long lives.
- Talented tractable horses are accident prone.
- You will ride the best test of your entire life just prior to being disqualified
for not wearing your gloves.
- Horses do not improve their paces because you are wearing expensive German
- If you chose a disco theme for your dressage to music test then the judge
will not be less than 90 years of age.
- The less skilled the rider, the more likely they are to share their ideas
and advice on riding a test.
- If you are considering the services of a horse clairvoyant to help you
with training then you have reached the point of total desperation - try the
German jodhpurs instead.
- If you fall off your horse in the arena you will have paid to have the
- If you are feeling confident before a show then three of the British team
and one leading eventer will turn up to give their young horses some "experience."
- Your horse will perform its best piaffe ever when you ask for extended
- No one cheats at dressage because no one has worked out how to.
- It is surprisingly easy to end a test with a perfect square halt once you
have scored a four for every other movement.
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