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On
Being Stuck
by
Thomas Eldridge
Metaphisically
oriented people are generally quite sensitive. And often particularly
sensitive people direct their sensitivity more to other people's
necessities than to their own. That can be the reason why sometimes
we feel stuck in situations -- like an unsatisfactory relationship
or financial situation, for example -- that other apparently less
sensitive people seem able to overcome more easily. So, how can
we resolve such situations? Here's some very helpful and competent
advice from the founder and director of the Center For Higly Sensitive
People.
Why is it that we can find ourselves
in a situation we would rather not be in but we can't seem to change
it?
It could be a relationship that is
not a happy and fulfilling partnership but we just can't leave it,
or it could be an unsatisfying job, yet we don't update our resume.
Sometimes it's an apartment or neighborhood
that's uncomfortable for us but we cannot find the energy to go
out looking for something that suits our style or safety needs.
Maybe it is a health problem like an addiction that we can't find
the self-discipline to begin working on.
And there is that creative project
in the desk drawer that we think about once in a while but don't
spend any time on, or the room that needs painting or the car that
needs servicing or your teeth that need new fillings.
Excuses for being stuck
We may say that we are just too
busy with the everyday demands of living, and that there are too
many people needing our time and attention, or that our energy levels
are too low.
All of this is true,especially as
the Information Age inundates our lives with a seemingly never-ending
stream of diversions and distractions. Most of the time, the best
we can do is to try to keep up with things or handle whichever is
most urgent at the moment. These streams of events then shape our
lifestyles and, as a result, the time-consuming and energy-draining
impact of our fast-paced culture goes ignored or unnoticed.
We can feel even more overwhelmed, paralyzed and energy drained
than most people because of our sensitivity. All the outside over-stimulating
factors may take over our central nervous system at an intensifying
rate. We may feel so bombarded with these outside influences that
we feel like we have no options, can see no options, even forgetting
that options exist.
Then we feel that we are stuck in
whatever situation we may find ourselves, immobilized and depressed.
We may even forget to breathe deeply enough for our body to function
optimally.
Another explanation is our lack of values around our personal well
being. Making do with what you have is easier than expressing your
values. Instead, we express our unconscious fears that say "be thankful
for what you have", "this relationship is better than no relationship",
or "this job is an improvement over the last job I had".
You may be metaphysically oriented and find yourself using phrases
like "There is a reason this person is in my life," or "I have this
boss, these parents, children because it is an opportunity to grow
or to learn something." Or how about, "I am building soul strength,
releasing karma, or going through a spiritual initiation that is
taking me several lifetimes."
This kind of evaluation can be very
helpful after one is no longer stuck in a situation. It is totally
possible to be going through a soul transformation that needs time
to cook long enough before the person can come out of the stew pot.
In this kind of process infinite patience is required while the
soul restructures or reorganizes itself.
Leaving our "comfort zone"
Sensitive people in particular are very much in tune with other
people's feelings. Consequently we are very adept at imagining how
painful it would be to them if we asked for what we really would
like.
Rather than risk hurting anyone,
giving what has been expected of us all these years has, in a sense,
been a much more peaceful approach. "No one has ever been disappointed
with me, not even myself." You may have created the perfect home,
family or social position that everyone admires, but inside you
are just plain tired from all this effort in behalf of everybody
else.
Then there are the financial considerations
that can be foreseen if you leave this marriage. "Can I afford the
child support or the rent?" What about the consequences at the office
if you leave. "How will they get along without me?"
In all of these instances, what is really being considered, either
consciously or unconsciously, is that staying stuck is actually
a way of feeling secure or comfortable--an important issue for anyone
but particularly so for the highly sensitive person.
If we are avoiding conflict we simply
create more inner conflict because our truth isn't spoken or expressed.
If we desire true self-actualization, eventually we must come to
face the realization that what is at stake--our hopes, our dreams,
and our goals, is more important than our need for safety.
Copyright
© 2000 Thomas Elridge
|
Detail
from "The Liberation of Saint Peter" by the great
Italian painter Raffaello (1483-1520)
The
author
Do
you want to ask questions to the author of this article?
You can do it, sending an e-mail to info@bliss2000.com
Meanwhile,
let's introduce him. He is
Thomas
Eldridge
He
is the founder and director of the Center for Highly Sensitive
People. The
Center and the web site were slowly developed over a number of
years as he brought his own highly sensitive nature into conscious
focus.
He
has been an intuitive counselor, metaphysical mentor and spiritual
teacher for over twenty years. A life long interest in natural
and holistic health and dreams is almost always a part of his
work with clients.
His
Sensitive Newsletter has been published since 1995. The
Newsletter is now available as a free email ezine from his web
site at www.thomaseldridge.com
. The web site also has a very active Message Board, a Directory
and many pages of information of interest to sensitive, intuitive
and spiritual people.
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