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Love in the New Age

by Richard Torregrossa (with illustrations taken from his book)

The new book by this renowned New Age author and illustrator presents the search for love as a spiritual quest. According to the simple and profound metaphorical story of a lonely dry cleaner, surrendering and accepting, rather than searching and striving, are the keys to attracting the person of your dreams.

Since the release of my illustrated fable, The Man Who Couldn't See Himself: A Spiritual Love Story, which is about a lonely dry cleaner whose search for love takes him on all kinds of comic and poignant adventures, I've been criss-crossing the country signing copies and giving talks at book shops, universities, and anywhere else they'll have me.

The two most common questions I am asked is, "Excuse me, sir, which way to the rest rooms?" and "What do you mean by a 'spiritual love story'?'" Although the former question is invariably asked with more urgency, I shall endeavor to answer the latter, which is closer to my heart, at least at this particular moment.

Surrendering to Love

A spiritual love story is concerned more with the inner qualities that bring people together than the external ones, such as good looks, lots of money, a house on the beach, a new Porsche in the driveway, etc., etc. Surely, external assets are desirable, especially by me, but they can be an impediment as well as a help, as the character in my book discovers.

The more arduous his search for love, the more he depends on conventional methods of finding love, and the less success he encounters. For instance, he places an ad in the personal column of the local newspaper and cruises bars, hoping to catch the eye of a pretty woman, activities that he finds are less than enjoyable.

The reason is that the New Age demands more from a person. It's not his fault, of course, because that is all he knows, until one day he finds himself so "unvalidated" that he cannot see himself. Without the validating forces of love, his own existence doesn't seem real to him. (Thus the title of the book, The Man who couldn't See Himself.)

A crisis is at hand. But in every crisis there is also an opportunity. The scene depicts a man in deep pain and confusion, but it also has a comic angle because of "the wonderfully whimsical cartoon illustration that accompanies it," as one critic put it.

So the moment of this disastrous metaphorical discovery is funny as well as tender and touching. It's not a 'downer.' The pen-and-ink cartoon illustrations balance the sadness of his plight with humor, as we must strive to do in all situations, no matter how ghastly.

If you read the book, you'll see what I mean. I'll wait...

The power of acceptance

Okay, you're back; now we can proceed. Less than 200 pages, told with illustrations as well as text, The Man Who Couldn't See Himself can, as you've discovered, be read in one happy sitting, which was my intent.

I wanted to write and illustrate a serious book about love and spirituality without the 'heaviness' I found in so many good, but somewhat ponderous and long-winded books on the subject. I mean, who has the time to read the original multi-volume set of A Course in Miracles? No doubt a worthwhile pursuit, but I don't know about you, but I've got laundry and grocery shopping to do.

Finally, our main character realizes that his will, his desires, his plan for his life are just not working. There must be another way, surely. But what? Bowling? A stylish new haircut? A different cologne, say, something by Givenchy? He makes some good stuff.

The other way is spiritual. He turns inward, having literally nowhere else to go. He surrenders his quest for the woman of his dreams, at least for the time being, and finds peace in the acceptance of his life as it is at this moment.

This is illustrated with one of my favorite drawings on pages 44 & 45 of the American edition published by Health Communications Inc. (and readily available through this page on Amazon.com by clicking here). In that blissful state of grace, he asks himself a serious question: While we all want true love, the greater question is: What does God or the Universe or Nature or whatever the Higher Power you believe in want for you? To find out one must shelve one's own egoistic desires and look upward.

The pure joy of giving

This should be encouraging to all readers, lonely or otherwise. Although it is difficult to abandon old habits, it can be done. Some have an easy time of it, others must hit "rock bottom," as they say in the Alcoholics Anonymous' 12-step recovery program.

Our lonely dry cleaner, unfortunately, hits rock bottom as depicted in the illustration on pages 42 and 43. But this is where he finds his redemption, his motivation to begin anew. He realizes that if he can surrender enough to allow the greater intelligence of God to reveal itself, an obstacle could become a stepping-stone to something magical, fulfilling, blissful.

I hate to give away the entire story, so I won't, but here's a hint. Giving, our dry cleaner discovers, is much more satisfying than acquiring, searching, striving. Giving for the pure joy of it is a powerful magnet. People gravitate to wise and happy people. These qualities are radiant, a powerful light of the heart that our soul mates can sense across a crowded room or a vast ocean.

Believe it. It is true. If it can work for a lonely dry cleaner, it can work for you. But have patience and courage and you'll soul mate will find you and you will be together. For how long, nobody knows. That is out of our hands. That is where faith comes in. Life and death don't matter; it's the living that's important.

Criticis have called The Man Who Couldn't See Himself a Romance for the New Millenium," precisely because it offers a completely new approach to attracting the person of your dreams. And because in this hectic age of work and family and more work, it can be easily read and re-read, shared with others, and absorbed on a deep level, perhaps even on a subconscious level, where it rests until the appropriate time arises for it to assert its message of hope and joy, a message that is simple but not at all simplistic, for to surrender, to let God into your life, is not an easy task.

It's a difficult journey, so it is also important to remember what one wise person said, "Laughter is like inner jogging." It keeps us in shape for the rough roads ahead. Now, if you'll excuse, I must go find the rest rooms.

Copyright © 1999 Richard Torregrossa