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Who are we?

Our Purpose

INTERVIEW :

Bob Mandel

by Giampiero & Annalisa Cara

In this exclusive interview, the famous rebirther and inspirational teacher explains what "true wealth" is and answers our questions on how birth traumas, self-esteem and relationships influence our relationship with money, either blocking or allowing the flow of abundance in our life.

- Can you tell us about your International Self- Esteem Project (click here for more information)? How is it going? Are there any new, forthcoming initiatives related to it that you would like to introduce to our readers?

"ISEP is going well and growing steadily. Having introduced the project in the USA and Europe, this year I am focusing on bringing the work to South America as well as schools. Also, I will be presenting ISEP this June at a congress in California called 'Preparing Youth For The 21st Century'.

"Finally, I am conducting a ten day Leadership Program this August to certify more teachers for the project since it is too much for me to do alone."

- How does the development of a high self-esteem influence the way in which a person manages his money? And what's its role in business relationships?

"Having high self-esteem, in my sense of this state, means having a healthy sense of self. This means knowing who you really are and what's really important in life. Once you have this deep sense of self-referral, you can manage your money and business without being on an emotional roller coaster. You know that who you are is constant even though your financial fortune might fluctuate.

"This self-knowledge allows you to be calm and centered, accumulate less stress, and make decisions based on your connection to spirit rather than fear and uncertainty. Spirit-based decisions not only tend to produce greater success, but also tend to contribute more to the planet.

"So, finally, when you have high self-esteem, you have the internal kingdom of wealth mastered, and you can never lose that in a stock market crash."

- Does ISEP take its message only to people who can pay to attend to your seminars, or do you also give free conferences and presentations in schools, welfare centers and even prisons, for example? We ask this because often the people who need to raise their self-esteem the most are those who cannot afford to pay to raise it. Don't you think so?

"The seminar format does require a financial investment. Often, this is the first step in people's commitment to self-improvement. Without commitment, it is very difficult to transform. But, yes, I go into schools, talk to young children and teachers, and I participate in congresses and conferences on a volunteer basis."

- How would you define true wealth?

"Wealth is internal and external. In English, the word originated in the word 'weal' as in 'commonweal' or 'commonwealth'. The word is also connected to the word well-being. True wealth is absolute wellness, internal health and external comfort. Moreover, true wealth is shared wealth, for the common good, not just personal accumulation."

- Is Wake up to Wealth (click here to read our review) the last book you wrote? And if it is, why you didn't feel like writing in the last six years? We're used to New Age authors who write a new book every year or so. Are you one of the rare authors who write only when they really have something new to say?

"Actually, I have been writing a series of children's books which are incomplete as of this date. Also, I am working on a major new book about the development of self. And I will have a new book about money (Millennium Money Mantras) on my web site (http://www.bobmandel.com) very soon.

"But, yes, I am not of the opinion that I need to crank out a book every year. I don't create on schedule but rather when the spirit moves me."

- You've written a very interesting and inspiring book on Birth and Relationships. What are some of the ways our birth experience can influence our relationship with wealth?

"We carry so many unconscious cellular memories from birth and before. For example, often parents are afraid that a new baby will mean a financial burden, and we can pick up this feeling as we come into the world. We also can very easily hold thoughts that life is a struggle since birth was a struggle, and that the world is cold and hard if our entrance into life was painful.

"One of the more common thoughts at birth is "I can't' or 'I can't make it', which translates into feelings of helplessness and failure as an adult. Plus, if you were unwanted (as a girl, boy, or being), you can have a rejection complex that becomes a money rejection complex."

- In your book you give new and profound meaning to the cliche according to which we have substituted God with money. In fact, we think that, as you say, if only enough money was showered upon us, we would be in heaven. In relation to the conditioning we have absorbed in our childhood, don't you think it has to do with the fact that often, in our society, parents have become mainly providers of money and material comforts, and not of spiritual values as in the pre-industrial past?

"I think parents have always been providers of money as well as love.

"The problem is, we see love and money as separate and incompatible whereas, in fact, they can be expressions of one divine energy. Love and money both only have value in circulation.

"While it is certainly true that some parents shower their kids with material things and withhold their affection, I don't think we can blame parents for the materialism of the world. Our culture has evolved to this point where we are divorced from our spiritual and environmental roots. We have raped the planet and ravaged its resources. With the Internet generation, the urge to succeed at any cost is speeding up. The entire materialization of the world is accelerating.

"However, at the same time, there is this tremedous spiritual energy waking us up, waves of light pouring into our minds and hearts. The key for us now as a planet is to balance the desire for wealth, which is not a sin, with the compassion in our hearts and the responsibility we have as caretakers of the environment."

- What kind of connection do you see between the pattern we follow in our relationship with our partner and the kind of employment we choose? Do people who have a co-dependent relationship with their partner tend necessarily to be dependent, as opposed to self-employed, also in their work and viceversa?

"I think it can go either way. Some people are very successfully self-employed independent individuals, but when they go home they become the opposite, completely dependent. Other people are very self-sufficient and not needy in their relationships, but once they go to work they exhibit patterns of dependency. People who take care of their partners at home might fall into managerial positions at work, but not necessarily.

"Patterns work like a pendulum. We all have contrary patterns, or false identities, within us, and we draw on one or the other depending on the circumstance. One day you act out the 'I am strong'" identity". The next day you are 'I am weak'. The same with 'I'm a success'/'I'm a failure', or 'I'm superior'/'I'm inferior'.

"We do this dance of the dyads but, in reality, we are neither of the false identities. Our true self lies in our essence which goes beyond the pendulum."

- In your book, you say that who we work for externally is not nearly as important as who we work for internally, because our external boss is always a projection of our internal one. So choosing a good internal boss is fundamental. How can we do that? And what are our options?

"The problem is, we tend to be so critical of ourselves. We have this internal judge who observes every move we make. This is usally an internalization of the parental disapproval we experienced as children.

"In order to have a healthy internal boss, you must heal your relationships with the authority figures in your life-- your father, teachers, priests, God. When you contact your real feelings for these figures and forgive them, you become more forgiving of yourself.

"The ability to forgive yourself is essential for success. All children need to make mistakes in order to learn and grow.

"If you were not allowed this opportunity with criticism as a child, you take this pattern into your adult life and it inhibits your success. So, when you fail at something, don't beat yourself up. Instead, see what you can learn to contribute to greater success the next time. Be a benevolent boss to yourself. You deserve it."

- Since you say that our business purpose is our spiritual purpose applied to money, what does the fact that people often want to be paid for something they don't like and do what they like just as an hobby (or voluntary work) indicate?

"This indicates once again that we have been brainwashed to believe that love and money are separate commodities. In my seminar Love & Money I address this one topic for an entire weekend.

"Many people are brought up to believe that they can't do what they love and make money at it. So they end up doing work they resent, and doing what they love on the side or not at all.

"This is one of the tragedies of the world. We spend a good percentage of our lives at work, and if we resent that time we resent life itself. It contributes to depression, stress, premature aging, sickness, and death. Also, it creates a worksforce of people who doesn't take pride in its work, often wasting time daydreaming and wishing they were somewhere else.

"The truth is, or so I believe, we are all put here with a purpose and the talent to fulfill that purpose, and when we are on purpose we are happier and we are making more of a contribution to the betterment of the planet. Everyone needs to contact their mission in life and go for it."

- You say that what you call the "Attention Deficit Disorder" (ADD) hinders our capacity to stay focussed on a personal relationship. Does it also affect our relationship with money?

"ADD is a sickness that affects many children in this world. One of the main reasons is that kids grow up with so much electronic stimulation. In the old days it was just TV. Now it's countless computerized games, video games, etc. Kids seems to need constant stimluation or their attention drifts off.

"As applied to relationships and money, yes, I think we all want too much immediate gratification and find it difficult to focus on projects for the long haul. It can take time to do something well. You have to go through a process in order to acchieve a result. This process can have ups and downs, and twists and turns, and if you are the type that quits when the going gets rough, you might find it hard to success in relationships or business.

"I think if people meditated more and surfed the Internet less, they would be wiser in both their personal and business lives."

- Regarding your work in the field of personal relationships, when and why did you and your wife Mallie create your Joy of Relationships Training (JRT)? And in what is this training different from the Loving Relationships Training (LRT) you used to teach with Sondra Ray? By the way, are you still working with Sondra on any project?

"After eighteen years of working with rebirthing and the LRT, Mallie and I took a sabbatical in 1995. At the same time, Sondra and I decided to go our own ways.

"For two years Mallie and I stayed home at our country house, hardly leading any seminars, and re-evaluating everything. We were recovering from our addiction to work, to one belief system and to a spiritual community we had parented but felt trapped by. Basically, we needed time out to find out what was real again.

"Out of that period of time we began to develop the Joy Of Relationships, which is not really one seminar because we change it substantially every time we offer it. That way it stays current for us.

"Right now, for example, we are studying forgiveness in a new light and are sharing many new insights on this topic in the training. But the theme is always JOY, which means a feeling of delight-- when your heart sings."

- Among many new projects you've developed, Rebirthing has remained a constant reference point in your work. Has your perception of this technique somewhat changed over the years? And if so, how? Do you think you've developed a different approach to it, or do you think what Leonard Orr fist taught still stands as the best reference point for rebirthers?

"Breathing is breathing and all rebirthers, breathworkers, vivation teachers share this common thread. My love for rebirthing has taken me more down the road of pre and perinatal psychology than other rebirthers.

"While I honor the spiritual aspect of the process as much as ever, I focus on the breath as a regression technique to journey to times in your life when you disassociated from your core self. I then use a technique called 'innervention' for healing the damage that was done to the developing self.

"Finally, in advanced sessions I move from 'regressive rebirthing' to 'progressive rebirthing', which focuses not so much on going back in time but in using the energy of breath to launch a new future."

- What are your plans for your work in the near future? Are there any new projects you're working on, or the current ones already take enough of your time and energy?

"This Summer I have BIG plans. My oldest daughter will give birth to her third child and we plan to attend. My youngest daughter is getting married and we plan to attend. And Mallie and I, after twenty years of marriage, will re-marry ourselves for the new millennium in a ceremony in our backyard. We plan to attend.

"Also, I am completing my new book, Your Right to Be You, re-designing me web site, taking ISEP into more schools, and, perhaps most importantly, cleaning my house from top to bottom."

Copyright © 2000 Giampiero & Annalisa Cara - All rights reserved