Advanced Workshop on questioning
in family mediation

Larry Fong

Workshop

Country:
Canada

Language:
English

Mediation has it's roots in managing the conflict of others. It is different from law and therapy. Mediation grew out of a need by the participants in the conflict, to be more involved in their own decision making. Words like empowerment, integrity and respect became one of the hallmarks of mediation. The concept of justice and the law as being different became more well understood by the disputants. Continuing with important and enduring relationships was integral in the move to mediation. Mediation grew out of a need to resolve the every day problems differently than the traditional mode of conflict management or resolution.

In this intensive and interactive workshop, mediators will learn how to use a consultative model that allows them to increase their understanding of their clients difficulties. By staying within the "realm of the clients" the mediator respectfully empowers the clients through strategic yet thoughtfully provoking questions. They must be questions of a difference and "difference questions that make a difference.

This method of asking questions, using hypotheses and strategizing is part of the systemic thinking that has its roots in Milan family therapy. The systemic method of mediation has been transformed into the context of mediation with some differences. Advanced by Dr. John Haynes and Dr. Larry Fong, it has been used worldwide to assist mediators in understanding their practice of mediation and the assumptions they as mediators hold true. This method of "thinking about your thinking" is truly a reflective method of understanding how the influence of the mediator, the clients and the mediator and the clients interplay with one another in session.

The main focus of this intensive consultation in the use of questions in mediation, is to design a way to encourage various types, categories and functions of mediator questioning. This method of inquiry which has gained notoriety in the field of mediation, provides a respectful and dignified manner to the questioning process. It is much different than those questions asked by lawyers. Using this particular consultive model, which has been used world wide, the mediator will learn how to use four basic tenets of mediation. Using the components of hypothesizing, strategizing, neutrality and questioning, the mediator is provided a comprehensive, systematic and collaborative way to responding to impasses in mediation. This method of consultation closely emulates what the overall goal is in mediation: to provide insight into difficulties through the least intrusive method with the highest level of change.

Mediators must learn to constantly deal with controlling the process of mediation and not be overly encumbered with the details and content of mediation. Clients are some of the best "experts" in their own problems. Thus by staying within the realm of the client, the mediator best creates an atmosphere of change and safety for the change to occur. A good mediation and a good consultation are implemented in the same fashion:

a. Data collection (Who, what, when, where, why)
b. Problem definition (What impasse has been reached?)
c. Hypothesizing [A way of initially viewing the problem(s)]
d. Questioning (A way of linking similarities or time between people, places and events)
e. Strategies (A way of implementing all the above to create change in an effective, respectful and dignified manner)

This intensive workshop requires that all mediators bring a mediation case that has perplexed them. The "consultants" are the other participants in this Institute. The workshop continues as follows:

1. The mediator (the person with a difficult case) provides anecdotal and characterological data on the clients in question. The "consultants" may ask any question of the clients as presented to them by the mediator.

2. Only when the mediator has provided to the group the necessary demographic data, can the "consultants" ask further questions. The "consultants" must not further question "what the mediator did or did not do" but rather what more information is needed to know with respect to the description of the clients. At this point of data collection the "consultants" are exploring versus crystallizing the information. They must emulate what they do best in mediation: show, exhibit and model intense and naieve curiousity.

3. Thus questions of clarification of the clients versus the mediator's intent, hypotheses or strategies is allowed. Questions by the "consultants" are to promote knowledge of the clients and their problem, not to provide information to the mediator as to what they should or should not have done.
4. When all of the "consultants" have no further demographic information they require to understand who the clients are, the next step can now take place.

5. The "mediator" then provides to the "consultants" the impasse and problem statement. This statement by the mediator, gives clarification as to what he or she thinks the problem is.

6. The "consultants" then, from the problem statement provide any hypotheses about what might be going on. A hypothesis is best defined as "the commencement of a preliminary investigation." All mediators must first know what they are investigating, otherwise much meaningless information would be gathered. The purpose of hypothesizing is to provide a link between what the clients state and what might be happening between the clients. All hypotheses from the consultants are important and helpful to understanding what is the problem. All hypotheses are carefully recorded, like the anecdotal information of the clients, on a flip chart.

7. In the natural progression, questions come from those hypotheses. Hypotheses are neither good nor bad. They are only useful or not useful. The clients determine (feedback) whether the hypotheses are useful. Thus the mediator becomes the "automatic guidance system" on an airplane, while the pilot and co-pilot determine the course. In this particular consulting model, it will be the "mediator" who will decide which hypotheses and questions are useful to their problem situation. Hypotheses give formal function to the mediation. If a mediator has a hypothesis, their questions will be more structured and less "hit and miss."

8. Initially hypotheses are used to gather more information and are speculative and unproven. Thus it is important that in this exploration stage that all "consultants" be as creative about their hypotheses as possible. When a mediator is "stuck for questions" it is because they may have become too invested with their own ideas or hypotheses thus creating their own impasse for the clients.

9. In developing the hypothesis, further questions are then modified, retested, developed and perhaps even discarded depending on the feedback from the clients. Useful hypotheses are those that stay within the realm of the clients.

10. When the greatest range of hypotheses, in this workshop, are developed and written on a flipchart, the mediator chooses which of the hypotheses they wish the "consultants" to develop. It is the mediator who chooses as it is they who are in the mediation. The "consultants" cannot suggest which they think is more or less important.

11. From the choosing of the hypotheses, the "consultants" carefully craft strategic, reflexive and thought provoking questions that the clients will be asked. In this model good questions carefully chosen and crafted provide worthy responses. In this model, "you can never go wrong asking a question because only the client is responsible for the answer."

12. These questions, circular and reflective, promote the concept of intense curiosity. They are questions of a difference that make a difference. These questions, specifically from the hypotheses accepted by the mediator, give that mediator a format to ask further questions. Such questions may be temporal in nature, between relationships, events or perspectives.

When mediators themselves are "stuck" for new questions to ask their clients they find it difficult to ask questions that elicit change in their clients. This method of asking questions frees the mediator from prior notions or preconceived ideas that previously impeded the mediator from allowing for an atmosphere where change can aptly occur.

In this method, the case presentations delineate a method of determining questions and dialogue that is useful/non-useful. The consultation allows for the same model provided to clients: providing an atmosphere where discussion, debate, negotiation and communication occurs in a climate of safety, dignity and respect.

The materials included in this workshop further enhance the future focus questions that mediators ought to ask, and promote the same respectful process of consultation that ought to be used in their own mediations with their clients.

Dr. Larry Fong is a psychologist and mediator in private practice. He has trained professionals throughout the world in ten different countries.

Systemic Model for Questioning

Lineal Questions:

These are questions that are anecdotal in nature. They can be informative (demographics) but are not meant to be stimulating or provocative. Problem definition/explanation questions are good examples.

Relational or "Circular" Questions:

These are questions about a difference that makes a difference. A question of a difference is a "circular or relational" question when the question asks a difference between two of something. Behavioural effect questions are an example of relationship questions.

Strategic questions:

These are questions that lawyers might use. They are meant to elicit one type of a response, such as "Yes or no". The asker of the question might already know what the answer might be. These can be confrontive questions or leading questions.

Reflective Questions:

Questions that ask clients to ponder or reflect. They are meant to be provocative but are not meant to be judgemental like strategic questions. Hypothetical future questions are examples.

Questions Between the Past & Future

Please cite accordingly.
Copyright of Dr. L. Fong. Suite 850, 736-6th Avenue SW; Calgary,