60 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or
off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents
of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead
and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a
Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the
natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while
peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the
elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing
the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to
yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie
patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm
handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand
that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink"
at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while,
and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the
back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in
your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then
sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks
infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while
continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the
elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human
head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then
announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the
elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the
button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other
passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask
"is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do..." and
push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and
announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger:
"Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a
more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively
at the passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's
getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler
"Bad touch!"
51. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.
52. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms,
screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!"
53. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe"
tournament.
54. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare
at the other passengers like they are crazy.
55. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a
towel and wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives
always come home early just when it's getting to the good part.
56. Make chalk drawings on the walls.
57. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and
down, shouting "Down! I said down, dammit!"
58. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at
everyone who gets on.
59. Try to get a game of "Twister" going.
60. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly.
Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step
away.
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