To My Dear Volunteer Girl,
During the past workcamp, I have tried to make love to you 48 times. I have
succeeded 0 times. The following list is why I didn't succeed.
1. The matress is deflated. . . . 5 times
2. It is too late. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 times
3. Too tired from cleaning and renovating ancient roman walls all
day. . . . 3 times
4. It is too early. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 times
5. It is too hot. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 times
6. Pretending to be asleep. . . . . . .. . . . . . 3 times
7. The other voluntheers will hear us. . . . . . . . . .3 times
8. Headache. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4 itmes
9. Sunburn. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 times
10. Domenico will hear us. . . . . . . . . . . . . .2 times
11. Not in the mood. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 times
12. Have to get up early. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 times
13. Playing stupid games. . . . . . . . . .. . . . . 3 times
14. Too sore. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5 times
15. Wrong time of month. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3 times
To My Dear Volunteer Boy,
I think that you have gotten things a little confused. Here are the real
reasons you did not get it than you did.
1. Came at school drunk and tried to fuck the cat. . . . . . 5
times
2. Did not come home at all. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4 times
3. Toes cramped. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7 times
4. Hemorrhoids flared up. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 times
5. Watching olympic games on TV in the bar. . . . . . . . . . . . 6
times
6. Had a fight and someone kicked you in the balls. . . 4 times
7. You had a splinter in your finger. . . . . . . . . . 8 times
8. Caught a cold and your nose kept running. . . . . . .4 times
9. Burned your tongue on hot coffee. . . . . . . . . . .6 times
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